


one hundred bad days make one hundred good stories (we could laugh about it all tomorrow, couldn't we?)

by hoye



Series: and i don't wanna be lonely (so show me the way home) [2]
Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2020-11-15 12:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20866352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoye/pseuds/hoye
Summary: Five Hargreeves is having the worst week of his life (including the estimated 2,190 weeks he spent alone in the post-apocalypse), and it’s entirely because his siblings, despite claiming to be thirty years old, were incapable of acting their age, getting over themselves for the sake of the Greater Good, and the list could go on indefinitely.The apocalypse is pending, but when's all said and done, how is Five going to prevent his siblings from killing one another (with passive aggression, snide looks, and actual superpowers)?(Cue the Addams family).





	1. the umbrella academy.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from "100 Bad Days" by AJR.
> 
> * * * * *
> 
> So this is not exactly the sequel people were asking for, mostly because I realized I left out Harold Jenkins' eye and I also removed the Commission in the first work, and then I didn't want Five to be as jaded as he would be if I followed the TV show events, so I then wrote this entire first chapter to preface the actual reunion/meeting of the Hargreeves and Addams families lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy it though! I started writing this right after "Wednesday, break my heart", but it took a lot longer to get this first chapter done because I was trying to rewrite the show without diverging too much :-) and then I was traveling for a while. Fingers crossed I will update the next chapter within a week! 
> 
> I'm really excited to be continuing this crossover and I'm really glad many of you also enjoyed it!

Five Hargreeves is having the worst week of his life (including the estimated 2,190 weeks he spent alone in the post-apocalypse), and it’s entirely because his siblings, despite _claiming_ to be thirty years old, were incapable of acting their age, getting over themselves for the sake of the Greater Good, and the list could go on indefinitely.

After reluctantly leaving behind the Addams family, he had crash-landed in the parlor of the Umbrella Academy, where he was almost attacked by Luther and Diego, with Allison standing alert to the side, Klaus brandishing a fire extinguisher as if it were a weapon, and Vanya hiding nervously behind Allison.

Turns out he popped in just in time for a funeral, because Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ first and only _genius_ method of organizing a family reunion involved killing himself (although that did say everything about their dysfunctional family that Five thought needed to be said). Funeral aside (much to Luther’s dismay, no one else was keen on remembering their dead dad), Five quickly gets to work explaining where and when he had been, for how long, and most importantly, what was to come: namely, the end of the fucking world.

He hadn’t originally been planning to involve his siblings, having normally been a “lone wolf” type of person, but that year at Cemetery Ridge had changed him. He knew now what a family _could_ (and probably should) be like and he knew change wasn’t miraculously going to happen on its own. So, he was trying to start small (“Nice dress,” he says to Klaus. “Oh,” Klaus responds, genuinely surprised, “well, Danke!”), which was more than he could say for the others, who were still making snide comments about one another, looking judgmentally at each other, and coming to blows over the pettiest shit (“There goes Ben’s statue…”).

Focusing on the apocalypse, he unfortunately doesn’t really have any leads, other than the fact that his siblings had died together, Vanya surprisingly included, so that meant they were probably attempting (and failed) to defeat whoever or whatever did manage to destroy all life on earth. He hadn’t been able to discern what Vanya was doing there, but it’s not like he could ask the current her anyhow, so he left that particular topic alone. Instead, he figures sticking around the mansion (as well as mandating that his siblings stay, at least sleeping over, since Vanya insists she has lessons to teach and orchestra rehearsal and Diego refuses to stop listening in on the police scanner) and keeping an eye on the emotionally-stunted _children_ would get him somewhere. Which it does, because a couple days later, two freakishly-strong masked strangers with machine-guns break into the Umbrella Academy looking for him.

The Umbrella Academy hasn’t fought as a unit in over a decade and it shows in their performance against the two attackers. There was a lot of fumbling and shouting at one another in the midst of battle and too many near misses, where one of the siblings had almost killed another instead of one of the masked intruders. They just barely manage to chase off the attackers when they get into another fight amongst themselves. Five points out that Klaus is missing and Luther and Diego dismisses him, saying Klaus had become more of an addict in the years since Five had disappeared, so they weren’t really anticipating Four being around. Five nearly blows a fuse when they say that and the remaining siblings get into a heated squabble amongst themselves about their teamwork and their family, devolving rapidly into insults and passive-aggression, which leads to Allison, Diego, Five, and Vanya leaving the mansion in varying states of anger (Diego and Five) and hurt (Allison and Vanya).

Five lets Diego stomp away to cool off and Allison slips away to call Claire (making a mental note to go talk to him and Allison later; he’s too angry to think about reconnecting with Luther at the moment, but eventually he knows he’s going to have to talk to One), but grabs Vanya’s arm before she can get in a taxi.

“How are you doing, Vanya?”

She blinks at him owlishly, big eyes flickering across his face as if they could read his features. It’s easy for them to make eye contact because they’re roughly the same height, though Five is an inch or two taller.

“I’m fine, Five. Just tired. I shouldn’t have come here after all.”

Five puffs up indignantly at that comment.

“Are you really going to let what _Luther_ says get to you? And Diego’s just being a hot-headed idiot like always. We’re a family, Vanya, and you belong here. No matter what Reginald said.”

Vanya’s eyes look watery, but she gives him a small smile, which is better than the anxious look she’d been making since he first laid eyes on her.

“I read your book, by the way,” he mentions. He hadn’t thought to bring it up in front of their other siblings, because it’s clearly another touchy subject for them. Before she can look guilty about it, like he knows she will, he says, “It was ballsy. Giving up the family secrets.” He grins at her. “I think I’d have done the same if I hadn’t left.”

She bites her lip, trying to stop herself from fully smiling, and ducks her head so he can’t see.

“I won’t keep you from leaving, I have to look for Klaus anyway, but we’ll talk soon, okay?”

“Okay,” she says, not smiling, but looking happy all the same, and Five’s gone in a flash of blue.

Five goes looking for Klaus and also starts trying to find information on the weird intruders from before. He doesn’t find anything particularly useful, until he is approached by a woman who calls herself the Handler and carries a thick black briefcase. This is how Five first becomes acquainted with the Commission and learns why he is of particular interest to them. He agrees to the Handler’s offer of employment, mostly because he needs a better idea of who or what was going to cause the apocalypse and he wants to ensure his family’s safety from other lunatics with guns. He does say he needs some time to find his brother first, which she allows, saying she’d come get him as soon as Klaus was located.

Klaus shows up at the mansion a day later, covered in blood, vacant eyes staring at everything as if he were blind. Five interrogates him, concerned about his well-being, and he slowly finds out the two murderers (“they called themselves Hazel and Cha Cha”) had abducted him, tortured him (Five can barely contain his anger, smashing a fist through the wall of Klaus’ bedroom), and then he had Ben’s help escaping (“Ben’s around?” Five asks, a fond smile on his face as he recalls his ramble in the graveyard with Wednesday. “Yeah, he’s been around since he died.” “Can you tell him I said hey?” Klaus shoots him a look that Five can’t decipher, before saying, “He’s right there, he can hear you.”), and he stole their briefcase (“I thought I could pawn it for money…”) and tumbled directly into the Vietnam War.

“How long have you been gone?” Five asks, a concerned furrow in his brow. He of all people knew what time-traveling would do to a person.

“It’s been 10 months,” he responds quietly.

“Why didn’t you come back when you figured out what was going on?”

“I met someone.”

The way Klaus says it explains everything he doesn’t clarify.

“Oh.” A minute of uncomfortable silence, of trying to figure out the right thing to say, of walking the line between the intrusive and necessary. “What happened?”

“He died.”

There’s another silence, not awkward this time, as Five looks at Klaus with eyes that don’t pity, that don’t judge. He reaches out and puts a hand on top of Klaus’ trembling fists.

“I’m sorry, Klaus.” He says it softly, probably the gentlest he’s ever been with the Séance.

(Klaus cries, not because he’s thinking about Dave, since he’s been thinking about Dave non-stop since he got shot, but because Five is actually listening, believes that Ben’s actually there, and is caring about him. Five, who came back from the future looking wary and hardened, but always gives him the time of day no one else will and is looking at him with concern and acknowledging he’s struggling. It’s never happened before with the rest of his siblings, especially after he started doing drugs – he’s only ever felt judgmental eyes when he’s amongst family and he’s only known the empty, haunted stare amongst ghosts.)

The Handler comes for Five before he can say much else to Klaus, before he can explain he’d met people in the wrong time too and how hard it was to leave them.

“I’ll fix things. I’m going to fix things, just stay here with Ben, okay?” Five says as he and the Handler disappear in the next blink of an eye. Klaus just curls up in his childhood bed and cries himself to sleep, murmuring Dave’s name. Ben sits at the edge of his bed and runs his hand through Klaus’ hair in an attempt to soothe him (neither of them even notice they can both feel it).

The Commission is like almost every other office building he’s ever seen, so he finds it rather lackluster for what it is supposed to be. He’s given a desk and some paperwork, but he quickly abandons it once the Handler takes her leave and starts rifling through any and all files he can gets his hands on. He intercepts a message intended for “Hazel” and “Cha Cha”, who he recalls from the conversation with Klaus, and finds the kind of information he’s looking for.

“Protect Harold Jenkins,” he reads aloud. “Who the fuck is Harold Jenkins?”

“That’s an excellent question, Five.”

He whips around and finds the Handler standing in the doorway, a feral smile plastered on her face.

“Fuck.”

Thus, commences the complete destruction of the Commission, at the hands of a physically-thirteen-but-mentally-fifty-six-year-old who claws and stabs his way out, but not before setting up an explosion (that he learned about from Fester) that brings down the terribly ordinary-looking building suspended in time. As reality crumbles around them, Five leaps through space and lands on top of the counter in the parlor of the Umbrella Academy.

He’s surrounded by some of his family in the next second, namely Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus and Ben (he’s assuming).

“Nice of you to join the family meeting,” Diego says sarcastically.

“Where’s Vanya?”

Klaus still looks possessed, sitting with his knees against his chest on the sofa, but when the question is posed, he looks up at Five and subtly shakes his head, a touch of sadness in his stare. Allison looks exhausted and guilty, while both Luther and Diego won’t make eye contact with him.

“Why are you having a family meeting _without Vanya_?” His voice is deceivingly calm, but the fury underneath it isn’t well hidden, because his siblings seem afraid of him in that moment.

“She left,” Klaus says. “She left, because she found out we were having a family meeting without her.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! I leave and you idiots can’t even include _our sister_ if I’m not here to babysit!”

Diego snorts. “Why should we include her? She’ll be nothing but a burden when the time comes. She doesn’t have powers.”

Five is next to Diego in an instant and his hands are gripping the front of his all-black vigilante ensemble, yanking him down to his height.

“She’s family,” he snarls, “And that’s more than enough reason.”

Luther grabs Five and pulls him off Diego with his monstrous strength. “What’s gotten into you, Five? You didn’t care when we were thirteen, how are things different now that we’re thirty?”

“Well, _Number One_,” he sneers, smacking Luther’s hands off of him, “someone has to take the lead on mending our dysfunctional family.”

Luther scowls, crossing his arms. “I’m Number One, Five. If I don’t think she should be here, she shouldn’t be.”

Diego, Allison, and Klaus (and Ben) roll their eyes near simultaneously.

“This isn’t a mission, _One_, and I don’t take orders from you.”

Before Luther can start yet another argument, Five turns to Klaus.

“This is a family meeting, so if Ben has anything to say, speak up for him, will you?”

Klaus nods, the corners of his mouth turning up. In the same moment, Luther, Diego, and Allison give disbelieving looks first at Klaus, then at Five, and then back again.

“You know he just says that for attention, right?” Luther says, insensitive as ever. “He’s too high to see a ghost, let alone Ben.”

“Fuck you, One,” Five replies. “Actually, fuck all of you. Klaus said he’s seen Ben since he died and I’m positive that he’s mentioned it to you guys at least once. Why can’t you just take his word for it?”

“Because he’s a drug addict!”

He shoots Luther a withering glare and the impossibly large man shrinks. “I’m going to pretend you’re not so fucking stupid that you can’t get over yourself enough to believe that a drug addict is still a human being worthy of respect like anyone else, especially when this drug addict is our brother, and move on, because we have more important things to do.”

Klaus interjects suddenly. “Ben says thanks for speaking up for me, because, and I quote, none of these chuckleheads believed me before and I couldn’t say anything to them, ‘cause you know, I’m dead.”

Five smiles a little. “Any time, Ben.”

Klaus smiles back.

“Anyway,” Five says, now addressing all of his siblings who were present, “first things first, we’re all going to find Vanya and we’re going to apologize, because that was a shitty thing to do to a family member. No buts!” He snaps when he sees both Luther and Diego opening their mouths, but Luther continues anyways.

“I still think this is related to the moon. Why else would Dad have sent me there?”

“Maybe because ‘Dad’ was a horrible fucking father who didn’t give a shit about anybody?” Five says, unable to deal with Luther’s selfishness right now.

“Whatever, Five. I’m going to look for the samples I sent him.” Luther stalks out of the parlor and Five doesn’t bother to stop him, because there are more important things to be doing.

Turning to the remaining siblings, he says, “Anyone else want to go? Now’s the time.”

Diego cracks his knuckles. “I’m not apologizing. She wrote that fucking book about us and Luther’s right. She’s useless in this fight. In any fight.”

Allison speaks up. “I’m not agreeing with them, it’s just that if the world is really ending, I need to be with my daughter.”

“Fine,” Five sneers, his patience worn through. “Leave then. You know what? I’m going to go talk to her myself and maybe once all of you can pull your heads from your asses, we can have this conversation again.”

Before anyone else could say anything, he slips away, popping out inside Vanya’s apartment. She’s not there though, and he has no idea where else she could be, so he debates going on a fruitless search for her or doing some research on Harold Jenkins, whoever he was.

He discovers Harold Jenkins was recently released from prison, after serving time for murdering his father. Five doesn’t know what to think of the man, who looks like a pretty average human being in his mugshot. He tries to get in contact with him on the phone and goes to his house, but upon finding no one home, teleports inside.

He finds a pair of corpses in the attic, as well as what can only be described as a shrine to the Umbrella Academy, which completely weirds Five out. He leaves as fast as he can, and in a moment of uncertainty and exhaustion, heads to the department store he knows Delores is in.

She actually has both arms, as well as legs, which is kind of hard to get used to.

“Hi Delores,” he says, looking at her fondly. “You’re looking well.”

He talks with her for hours, describing his year with the Addams family, recounting some of his favorite memories of Wednesday (“Don’t be jealous.”), and explaining the situation he currently found himself in.

The store closes and he gets kicked out by an employee who’s been giving him odd looks since he started talking, but he just waits until everyone leaves and hops back inside. He and Delores talk until it’s deep into the night and he falls asleep at her feet, the most relaxed he’s been since he arrived.

He returns to the Umbrella Academy the next morning (after a bittersweet farewell to his longtime friend) and finds all of the siblings minus Vanya throughout the mansion.

“Family meeting,” he says, “Now.”

Luther is shirtless, exposing the full glory of his ape-body, and looks (and smells) like he’s hungover; Five’s tempted to say something, but is not willing to antagonize him now that everyone is settled down.

“So, I found some information concerning the apocalypse during my brief time at the Commission.”

He holds up Jenkins’ mugshot. “Do any of you know Harold Jenkins by chance?”

His siblings gape at him.

“Wait, do all of you somehow know him?”

“That’s, this can’t be, I knew something was weird about him!” Allison is shouting at them.

“You do know him then,” Five prompts.

“That’s Vanya’s boyfriend!”

“Vanya has a boyfriend?” Five doesn’t care if his sister wants to date, but he’s almost certain he remembers her saying she liked girls when they were younger. He’s not sure if she’s ever said that to the others though, and maybe she’s bi, so, even at a time like this, he won’t be the one to out her.

“Yeah, he called himself Leonard when we met him,” Diego says.

“Did all of you meet him?”

“Kind of? He was with Vanya right before she stormed off…”

Five is pinching the bridge of his nose and the rest of the siblings are silent. He lets out a long sigh.

“Let’s go find Vanya.”

They couldn’t find her. There’s no one in her apartment and none of the Hargreeves know her phone number.

“Are you serious,” Five grumbles, absolutely irritated with everyone and everything. “Wednesday would kill all of you if she were here.”

“It’s actually Friday,” Allison supplies unhelpfully, completely mishearing his comment. He ignores her.

“Alright, we need to find Vanya and Leonard, and fast.”

They look all over town, but can’t find any trace of the pair. Five is afraid that when they find them, their sister will be nothing but a corpse.

Diego, Allison, Klaus, Ben, and Five discover where Vanya is the day the world is supposed to end. Because it turns out (like father, like adopted son) Luther had the _genius_ idea to confine her in a disturbing sound-proof vault in a basement floor none of them knew about.

Vanya had come home to the mansion, covered in blood, sobbing, making the portraits fall off the walls and the chandelier shake ominously, as she detailed to Luther, her brother, that she had powers, that Leonard had been trying to use her, manipulating her, coaxing her to use her newly-discovered (but always present) powers to maim and murder, to get revenge. She’d discovered he had Dad’s journal and that’s how he knew the truth about her and why he came looking for her under the pretense of learning the violin.

“I, I was up-upset, and I, I, I c-c-couldn’t control it, and n-now he’s d-d-dead and it’s, it’s my fault,” she had cried.

“It’s okay,” he had lied, embracing her. “It’s going to be okay.”

And then he had squeezed her until she passed out, ignoring her cries (“You’re hurting me!”).

Now, all the siblings were gathered in front of said vault, Luther explaining everything that had happened as they watched Vanya desperately pounding on the glass of the door, tears streaming down her face as she soundlessly cried for what must have been help.

“Luther, I’ll kill you,” Five says once One finishes his retelling. His voice is flat, yet it sounds the most dangerous it ever has. “Let her out before I do it myself.”

“Are you kidding me, Five? Didn’t you hear anything I said? _She’s dangerous! She could kill any of us! She just killed her boyfriend!_”

All of the siblings are looking at Luther with dismay and disgust.

“_She’s our sister!”_ Allison snaps when he looks pleadingly at her.

“Ben and I both think you’re fucked in the head, Luther. You don’t, you don’t do this to another person,” Klaus says. He’s trembling, his arms wrapped around himself in a way that makes Five wonder if there’s more to his comment than he’s actually saying.

“Even I think this is the stupidest thing you’ve done in a long time, and you’ve done plenty of dumb things.” Diego scowls. “Let her out.”

Luther stands in front of the door, arms crossed and scowl crinkling his face.

“I’m Number One,” he says, “I’m the leader. And as the leader, I’m saying she’s too dangerous to be let out.”

That’s all it takes for Five to launch himself at Luther.

It’d be a good time to explain that despite how dysfunctional the Hargreeves family was, they hadn’t seriously fought one another before. Sure, Luther and Diego had their temper tantrums over the years and it would be a lie to say they hadn’t attacked _without_ the intention of causing harm, but none of them had ever started a fight with an intent to kill.

Until now. Here they stood in Reginald’s secret prison, Vanya collapsed on the floor of the vault, shaking, as Five gives his all to kill, or at the very least maim, his brother. He’s jumping out of reach when Luther’s fingers almost grasp his clothes, he’s punching and kicking Luther without an ounce of mercy. He pulls off his tie from Gomez’s funeral suit and yanks it over Luther’s head, fully committed to strangling the monkey bastard, when Luther suddenly throws Five off of him, tossing him into a wall without holding back. Five’s head slams against the concrete with an alarmingly noticeable thud and then he’s crumbled in a heap of teenage limbs on the floor, knocked out. Diego, Allison, Klaus, and Ben all turn to gawp at Luther, who hesitates for a second before furrowing his brows into a serious look.

“I’m not kidding, you guys. We keep Vanya here until we have a better understanding of her powers. I’m not saying it’s forever, it’s just until then. Got it?”

“Sheesh, clearly you’re not kidding,” Ben retorts, which makes Klaus smile crookedly. He’s still afraid to leave Vanya there, locked in the vault that reminds him so much of the mausoleum, but he’s not really in the mental state to do much, nor would he pose much of a threat to Luther.

The other (conscious) siblings weren’t about to argue with Luther after having seen him concuss their youngest (or should that be oldest?) brother with barely any regret. Technically, they knew Allison could rumor Luther into opening the door, but they also know she’s been having some kind of internal struggle with her own powers ever since the divorce.

(She hasn’t rumored anyone since that night Patrick caught her rumoring Claire to sleep. Not that her siblings know about that.)

Luther picks up Five’s limp body and begins heading to the elevator and the others follow him reluctantly. They give Vanya’s desolate form a few pitiful glances and Klaus mouths sorry as they trudge into the elevator.

* * * * *

A few hours later, when Five wakes up, he’s not in the mansion. He’s laid out on a couple uncomfortable plastic seats, fluorescent lights flickering dimly above him. It’s too loud and he groans as he pulls himself into a sitting position and he’s confused to find himself at a bowling alley.

“What the fuck.”

“Oh, you’re awake. Good,” Luther responds and in the next second, Five throws himself on top of him, his hands too small to wrap all the way around Luther’s throat, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.

It takes both Diego and Klaus to drag Five off of Luther, who gingerly rubs his neck while glowering at Five.

“What the hell is going on?!” Five snarls, still itching to get his hands around Luther’s neck.

It’s Allison who explains what had happened after he’d been knocked out. They had let Luther keep Vanya in her cell and his _brilliant_ plan backfired half an hour later when she had broken out using her powers, collapsing the entirety of the mansion on her way out.

“She killed Pogo,” Allison says. “And Mom didn’t make it out of the house.”

They had regrouped in the bowling alley because they didn’t know where else to go. Their home was in shambles and their sister was now a royally pissed-off, insanely powerful, inexperienced superhuman.

“Maybe I can help,” Klaus speaks up. “Earlier, when the academy was falling down, you know how I pulled you out of the building?”

He looks at Diego, who nods, a rare but incredibly fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Well, I wasn’t the one who pulled you out.”

Diego immediately looks lost and Klaus wrings his hands nervously, jittery as if he were still coming down from his latest high (which Five knew he wasn’t).

“Ben was.”

Luther sighs in exasperation. “Do you have to make everything about you, Klaus? Can’t you ever stop that part of you that just has to be the center of attention?”

Five yanks one of Diego’s knives from his halter and throws it at Luther, making sure it just barely misses cutting his ear off.

“Luther,” he says, grinning without an ounce of humor. “You’ve made things about yourself plenty with your _stupid, god-damn ‘dad sent me to the moon’ pity party!_ And we’re only in this mess, because of your stupid fucking idea. Believe it or not, I’ve been _patient _with you thus far, but I’ve had it with your attitude, personality, and existence, so, shut up or the next knife is going between your eyes.”

Luther turns red, and Five can’t tell if it’s because he’s embarrassed or he’s upset, but he couldn’t care less about Luther’s feelings right now – he would consider making amends later (not apologizing, because he absolutely wasn’t sorry for what had just occurred).

“Ben,” Five says instead, scarily looking right at Ben as he addresses him blindly, “would you be willing to help out if Klaus can manifest you?”

Ben is pleasantly surprised that Five chose to address him before asking Klaus if he was even capable of doing it again. Realistically, no matter how much he wants to help, he isn’t exactly his own _person_. Klaus would never say so, but Ben never forgets that he’s technically a part of Klaus’ powers; death took away his right to just be “Ben”. It’s also nice because it means that Five is acknowledging Ben’s own discomfort with his powers and asking his assent in using them, rather than commanding it as Luther used to do when they were younger.

He nods to Klaus, who’s smiling at him in a way he hasn’t since he was last sober, almost two decades ago.

“He’s agreed!” Klaus cheers, clapping his hands gleefully.

“Right. Then, Klaus, do you think you can manifest Ben again? We could really use his help.”

“I can try? I’ve never done it on purpose before.”

“Okay, so we won’t rely on Ben’s help, but if you’re able to, that’d be great.” From anyone else, Klaus would have felt dejected and ignored as he usually was, but coming from Five, Klaus couldn’t help but grin while exchanging high fives with Ben (Luther rolls his eyes when he watches Klaus raise a hand to the air).

Agreement from Klaus and Ben confirmed, Five begins to pace, his hands rubbing his face with exasperation.

“Do any of you know where Vanya is now?”

“She could be anywhere, Five. She’s unhinged. With that said, I say once we find her, we should be prepared to…do what is necessary to stop her.”

Five raises eyebrows at Luther’s words.

“What are you suggesting exactly?” Allison asks.

Five answers the question, since he immediately understood what Luther is hinting at. “Harold Jenkins is already dead, so he’s not the cause of the apocalypse, he’s the catalyst. That means Vanya causes the apocalypse and our _dear_ brother is suggesting we kill her.” He can’t stop the curl of his lips into a sneer.

“It’s not like she hasn’t killed anyone! She killed Pogo! She indirectly killed Grace! She’s not innocent in this.”

“Yes, but we’ve all killed people, Luther, and justified it by saying they deserved it. Don’t you think in Vanya’s eyes – with the way we treated her growing up and continued to treat her even now – we deserve it?” Five says Luther’s name, but he’s staring at all of his siblings as he talks.

None of them are innocent in this, not even him.

“Regardless, we need to find her,” Diego deflects while shifting uncomfortably. Typical. “We can make amends after we’ve stopped the end of the world, alright?”

“That still requires us to find her,” Luther points out.

“Holy shit, I found her!” Klaus yells. His siblings are automatically scanning the vicinity, looking for their potentially murderous sister waltzing into the bowling alley, but don’t see her. Klaus points to an advertisement in the newspaper he had just been flipping through.

“Tonight’s her concert? Why didn’t any of us know that?” Five says, growing frustrated with himself and the others with every minute that ticks by. God (if They’re out there) only knows how hard he had been trying to build bridges ever since he came back, but he’s been watching every single one of his siblings willfully set fire to them before he can establish anything stable (and more importantly, permanent).

His family shrugs in response and pretend to busy themselves, so they can avoid making eye contact with one another.

“Excuse me,” a random lady interrupts their meeting. She looks nauseatingly friendly and Five scowls at her, not in the mood to play nice with strangers.

“What?”

“It’s my son Kenny’s birthday today and wouldn’t your son be happier playing with kids his own age? Assuming it’s okay with your two dads.” She gives a pointed glance at Diego and Klaus, who look at one another in confusion.

“I’d rather chew off my own foot,” Five bites out. He can almost hear Wednesday’s response: _And _I’d love to watch as you do it.__

The woman looks startled and then indignant, but she quickly leaves with Kenny in tow as Klaus waves his “goodbye” hand at them.

“Let’s go,” Five says, easing himself up. “And _no killing our sister._”

He hasn’t fully recovered from his concussion, but he’s running out of time, and all things considered, life could potentially be a lot worse right now. Diego and Klaus are now bickering about who would be luckier to date the other and Five scoffs at their childish banter, but is glad that at least some of his siblings are making an effort to get along (even if it was thirty years late).

The family, with Five in the lead, rush over to the theater where Vanya is performing. There’s some argument about the plan of attack, as Luther is still leaning towards murdering Vanya, while Allison, Klaus, Ben, and Five are against it, and think they should make an effort to extend her an olive branch. Diego isn’t exactly saying no to either plan, but is instead urging everyone to act now and think later (which is not a great plan, but very Diego of him to say).

Five threatens Luther to back off and at least let the rest of the siblings try to talk to her first, which he agrees to (just barely).

Then there’s another argument because everyone wants Klaus to play lookout, which is quickly ended by Five glaring at his younger siblings with a promise that is just short of waterboarding followed by slow death.

“We’re _all_ going, Klaus and Ben too.”

No one wants to argue with Five when he’s pissed, so they let it go.

They sneak in, as the performance is well under way, and Five makes eye contact with Vanya, who is standing center stage, dressed to the nine’s in a dashing black suit.

It’s beautiful, her playing is _beautiful_, and Five can hear it without knowing a thing about music or violins. Five gazes at her fondly and she returns the warmth in his gaze with a small-but-not-meek smile. Her eyes are the silvery grey of a steel knife, but they shine like stars.

And then it happens. Luther rushes out and swings his fist as if to punch Vanya across stage, Diego standing off to the side with a knife out, hesitating to attack, but there all the same.

“Idiots!” Five shouts as the pandemonium begins.

The White Violin – Vanya, Number Seven, their sister – now stands upon the stage and looks down on them with cold, indifferent eyes.

Five feels like vomiting because he can practically feel her animosity curl around him in the air and slither around his neck. (Given her powers, it probably _is _doing that.)

“Vanya!” he yells over the screaming and panic that’s barely audible over the sound of her violin. It’s not beautiful anymore – it’s terrifying. It’s as if the instrument is wailing and Five thinks he might cry with how painful everything feels when he’s surrounded by the furious and betrayed shriek of Vanya’s weapon.

“Please! We just want to talk to you, with you!” he tries again, still struggling against the flood of her emotions overpowering all of them.

There is only the Hargreeves siblings in the theater now, just the Umbrella Academy.

“Vanya, please stop.” A voice whispers. It’s soft, muted, but it somehow rises over the djinn and captures everyone’s attention, because while it may be new, it’s familiar.

Standing in the middle of the theater is Klaus, fists clenched and shrouded in wispy blue light, completely focused on something off in the distance. And right next to him, flickering blue, a sorrowful expression on his face, is Ben.

He looks young. His manifestation is unmarred, the skin of his face smooth, which all of the siblings are thankful for, because no one knew what they would do if confronted with Ben’s mangled remains. The horrors in his stomach are equally ghostly, but they are writhing, crawling out slowly, waving to and fro as if tasting the air, and his pale hands are clutched to his abdomen, as if that alone could prevent them from running rampant.

“Please, Vanya,” he says again, his voice still registering as if whispered in everyone’s ears. “I know it hurts. I know _you’re _hurt. But that doesn’t mean you can take it out on other people.”

She falters for a moment, her playing becoming uneven, as she takes in the sight of their dead brother’s ghost.

He speaks again, his voice echoing and unearthly, yet completely, totally Ben’s.

“Our family’s been awful to one another, not just to you. We all have things we need to apologize for and we all have things we are burdened by.”

The horrors are starting to thrash against Ben’s hands and the rest of them, Vanya included, remember the times Ben didn’t want to use his powers and was coerced by the others to do so. They all inwardly cringed as they thought of the many times Ben cried about how it hurt to feel them under his skin, how opening the gate in his stomach felt like ripping himself open, and recalled how he was beaten by a disappointed Reginald for refusing orders to train or use the horrors. And they couldn’t forget how they turned a blind eye to it all.

“Let’s talk, let’s talk about it, about everything. We want to listen to you and we want you to listen to us. You’re our sister and what you say is important, but we won’t ever get a chance to fix this, to hear you out, if you don’t let us.” Five takes advantage of the momentary calm, shooting Ben and Klaus grateful looks, as he appeals to Vanya. “And you’ll never get to know us if you don’t stop.”

Her fingers twitch against the strings, her grip on her bow loosening slightly.

“Do you mean it?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Five responds immediately. The aftershocks of her power are subsiding and he can now see the fear in her eyes, the shame, the guilt, that had been hidden by the blinding anger that had obscured her vision before. “You’re important to us, Vanya. You’re important, period.”

There are a few seconds of tension between the siblings, where each of them eye one another with apprehensive expressions. Vanya’s reigned in her power for now, even though she’s practically pulsing with it, and Five takes it as the most of an invitation he’s likely to get.

He teleports to her side, ensuring he does it slow enough that she knows he’s coming and landing far enough from her that she hopefully won’t be startled into attacking. He extends a hand and takes hold of her wrist, gently pulling her bow from her fingers. She allows it, her expression adopting the nervous demeanor he found familiar and yet foreign, due to the paleness of her typically brown eyes.

Five places her bow on the floor with care and then pulls Vanya into a bruising hug. She makes a startled sound, and it takes a minute, but her arms cautiously wrap around him. She starts shaking and Five can feel the heat of her tears bleed through his suit.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “It’s going to be okay.”

There’s another person suddenly wrapped around them, a person who’s freezing cold to touch, but whose presence warms Five’s heart.

“It’s good to see you in person, Ben,” he smiles and Ben smiles back.

Klaus throws himself into their little huddle almost immediately after Ben, and it’s not long before Allison does the same. She drags both Diego (who looks like he wants to object to the physical display of affection) and Luther (who looks beyond guilty) in with her.

It’s not the picture-perfect moment it would be in a movie. They all ignore the way the horrors wriggle around them and wind themselves up their ankles and Luther literally is big enough to encircle the entire group hug with his overly muscular ape arms. Allison’s starting to cry a bit and Diego’s faintly groaning and complaining about “sappy shit” (as he tears up) while Vanya continues to silently sob in the middle of it all. Klaus looks like he’s about to pass out, which Five assumes has something to do with manifesting Ben, who’s starting to flicker in and out of sight, like static-y television.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Five says, wrestling his siblings off of him. “We’ve got some stuff to work out and I think that’s the longest hug I’ve ever given in my entire 56 years of consciousness.”

He glances at Ben. He’s barely visible now, pale blue in stark contrast with the darkened theater, but fading rapidly.

“See you around,” Five says cheekily, to which Ben actually smirks, _flips him off_, and disappears to everyone but Klaus, who immediately slumps on the floor. Five is next to him in a second, catching him just before his head hits the floor.

“You okay?”

“Just peachy,” Klaus mumbles, gazing blankly ahead. He’s sweating and dark circles ring his eyes, but he looks as if he’s at peace, for the first time in a long time.

“You did great, Klaus,” Five says lowly, loud enough for only his brother to hear it. He grins at Five’s words and weakly raises his “hello” hand to pat his cheek, which earns him a scowl.

“What’s the plan now?” Diego cuts in.

All of the siblings are crowded around Five and Klaus, who’s starting to push himself up into a seated position.

Vanya’s eyes are still the color of steel, but she holds herself in that same frightened way she’d adopted growing up. She shifts her weight from one foot to the other and her hands fidget against the violin she’s cradling in her arms.

Luther is standing as far as possible from Vanya, eyeing her in a way that has Five glaring daggers at him. He’s not sure if Luther is keeping his distance because of guilt or fear, but his attempted assault on their sister is definitely going to make for some awkwardness between the two of them, not even counting how upset Five is with Luther at the moment (and he’s sure his other siblings have things to say to One as well).

Allison and Diego are going back and forth between not-so-discreetly staring at Luther and then not-so-discreetly staring at Vanya. They also take breaks from doing so to stare pointedly at Klaus, who rambles about how he totally hadn’t been lying about Ben and it’s been years since he first said so, but now he can finally say, “Told you so!”

God (who Five was suspecting more and more of being a complete asshole) was their family messed up. Aside from Five, who had been trying desperately to keep their family together and was still struggling to get along with some of them, the Hargreeves’ family had done a splendid job ripping their fragile bonds to shreds.

_What to do_, Five muses. _We saved the world__, but we’re in critical condition emotionally speaking. We’d need a fucking miracle to fix this dumpster fire._

He feels in that moment the weight of Wednesday's locket hanging around his neck and thinks, not for the first time, of the Addams family. Of their easy, unconditional acceptance, of their unique brand of happiness that had changed his life in just one short year, and of their way of making the impossible possible.

“That’s it!” Five shouts, bolting up from where he had been sitting on the floor. His siblings jump where they stand.

“Okay, everyone hold hands,” he commands, helping Klaus up before taking his right hand and Vanya’s left.

Allison grabs Vanya’s right hand, while Diego grabs Klaus’ left, leaving Luther to hold Allison’s and Diego’s hands.

“Leave room for Ben,” Five insists. He hasn’t ever attempted something like this before, but he isn’t about to leave anyone out, dead or not. There’s been enough exclusion in the Hargreeves family to last a lifetime.

Klaus and Diego separate, and Klaus firmly grasps the air, while Diego less certainly holds his hand out to what feels like empty air.

“What exactly are we doing, Five?” Luther asks, slightly meek. It’s the first time he’s said something since he tried to kill their sister, which he had promised not to do.

“We’re going home,” Five says elusively.

Before anyone can question what he means (seeing as the Umbrella Academy was currently rubble), Five initiates the jump, thinking of that beloved, old mansion, standing on the hill above Cemetery Ridge.

He imagines Gomez saying sweet everythings to Morticia as he kisses her passionately, thinks of Morticia’s wisdom and killer tea, can almost taste Grandmama Addams’ strange new concoctions, and smiles as he remembers Fester’s awkward grins. Five hears Pugsley begging for a story, laughs aloud to a joke tapped out in Morse code by Thing, and sees Lurch looming over him in the foyer. And he thinks of his favorite day of the week, of her sharp wit and dry humor, of her rare smiles.

He thinks of his siblings, growing up broken and unsure of themselves and one another. How even he couldn't help himself sometimes, getting into arguments with Luther and Allison and Diego, who were all headstrong and opinionated and clashed with him in a lot of ways that he didn't always have the patience for. How he could've tried harder to get along with the three of them in the same way he was able to make amends with Klaus, Ben, and Vanya. How the Hargreeves siblings couldn’t get along because they lacked the emotional capacity to do so and were constantly at one another’s throats because that’s how they thought people dealt with their feelings. How they never figured out they were whole, even when broken.

He thinks of his family, Addams and Hargreeves.

And he jumps, pulling his siblings in after him.

* * * * *

One moment, there had been a pulsating blue ring that engulfed the Hargreeves siblings and the next moment, they found themselves somewhere entirely new.

They’re still holding hands, but Five’s collapsed, his eyes rolling back so they could see the whites of his eyes, unconscious. They’re all on the ground, and Vanya shifts Five so that his head is on her lap and she brushes the hair away from his eyes.

The others look at one another, still dressed in the bloody and dusty clothes from before, but no longer on the stage of the partially ruined theater. They’re on the floor of what looks to be an old mansion, judging from the décor and the spider webs hanging from the ceiling. It’s impressive, though, and looks to be potentially bigger than the Umbrella Academy, which they all would have thought is impossible.

“Where are we?” Allison asks, taking in the incredibly expensive relics littered around the entryway they had landed in.

“I don’t know,” Luther says, annoyed. “Five didn’t exactly ask us our opinion before bringing us here.”

“Oh, don’t start,” Diego scoffs. Luther sneers and begins to retort, when Klaus interrupts him.

“Guys? Maybe we should be worried…”

They turn to look where Klaus is staring and stiffen when they are confronted by a young girl standing on the staircase, dressed entirely in black, and holding a loaded crossbow.

Aimed directly at Five’s head.


	2. the addams family.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're creepy and they're kooky  
Mysterious and spooky  
They're all together ooky  
The Addams family
> 
> Their house is a museum  
When people come to see 'em  
They really are a scream  
The Addams family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, clearly i dropped the ball on posting "weekly", but i found myself struggling to write (or at least like what i write) so it took me a while to even get this far l o l
> 
> thanks for reading :-)

Luther’s holding his fists up in some semblance of a fighting stance, while Diego already has knives ready in each hand. Allison places herself protectively in front of Vanya and Five(’s limp body).

“Hi? Who are you,” Klaus asks awkwardly, waving his “hello” hand.

The girl on the staircase is expressionless, but her eyes narrow at his question and her finger twitches against the trigger of the crossbow.

“I have nothing to say to you, Klaus Hargreeves.”

Her voice is soft, but it hardly matters since the Umbrella Academy is completely focused on her. The Hargreeves siblings maintain their positions, unsurprised by her recognition of them; they were child superheroes, after all, and their faces and names had remained well-known throughout their lives.

“If you shoot, I’ll stab you,” Diego warns gruffly, twirling the knives in his left hand. She merely lifts an eyebrow in response, an elegant and subtle dismissal of his threat.

“Who is this girl and why isn’t she, I don’t know, afraid? She’s outnumbered and she clearly knows who we are, which means she knows what we can do,” Ben says, slouched against the wall of the foyer. Klaus shrugs in response at the same time the girl says, “I may be outnumbered, Ben Hargreeves, but I’m likely more capable with a crossbow than the Kraken is with his knives.”

Ben whips his head to stare at her dumbfounded as Klaus does the same. Diego takes offense at her claim, clenching his teeth and fists as if to prevent himself from killing the young girl on the spot for suggesting such a thing. Allison, Vanya, and Luther peer around the room in search of their brother at the mention of his name.

“You, you can see, can you see him?” Klaus stumbles over his words as he double-checks his hands to make sure he’s not somehow manifesting Ben without his knowledge.

“Mother would be disappointed if I couldn’t see a basic spirit.”

“What the hell is happening,” Luther demands, clearly thrown off his rhythm and disliking it. Allison is looking at the girl with concern and Diego simply looks upset.

She ignores him completely. “Wake Five Hargreeves or I’ll shoot him.”

Her monotonous voice unsettles them, so much so that they only register what she’s asking of them a minute later, when she closes an eye to get a more accurate shot of Five’s head.

“Woah, woah, woah, Fräulein!” Klaus shouts, waving both his hands at her. “He’s out of commission at the moment! We can’t just wake him up whenever we want!”

“He’ll get up soon,” she says, not lowering the crossbow at all. “Or he’ll die.”

With that said, the strange girl pulls the trigger before the Hargreeves can do anything about it and all of the (conscious) siblings shout in unison as the arrow flies directly towards Five’s unprotected skull.

But doesn’t quite reach it as Five grabs the arrow by the shaft right before it can pierce through his brain, eyes still closed as he does so. His siblings let out a sigh of relief and are torn between checking on Five and murdering this potential threat. They don’t get around to doing either, because Five opens his eyes, blinks slowly, disoriented, and groans, “I never did miss your wake-up calls.”

His siblings all speak over one another.

“Do you know this chick,” Diego scowls.

“You should have told us your plan,” Luther complains.

“How are you feeling,” Vanya inquires.

“She can see Ben!” Klaus shouts.

“She can see me!” Ben shouts.

“Where are we,” Allison asks.

Five doesn’t bother to answer any of them in favor of staring at Wednesday, who’s still standing in the middle of the staircase, her empty crossbow dangling by her side. She must be at least two or three inches taller than when he left (but he’s still taller) and she holds herself with an air reminiscent of Morticia, which she didn’t use to do (and isn’t that just terrifying). Her hair is longer, but still hangs on either side of her head in familiar twin braids. Her clothes are black, as expected, but she’s actually painted her nails a bright red, which catches Five off-guard.

“Red nails,” he says, a teasing smile spreading across his face. “You must be Monday, Wednesday’s twin.”

“Bastard,” she replies.

“I told you I’d come back.”

“Took you long enough.”

“How long was I gone?”

“Too long.”

“Missed me that much?”

“No.” She glares at him. “It’s been two years.”

“It’s been around 10 days for me.”

It’s Wednesday’s turn to tease (although the other Hargreeves’ weren’t able to tell the minute change in her expression and voice).

“I guess that means I’m older this time.”

They approach one another, meeting at the bottom of the stairs. Behind Five, the Hargreeves are stage-whispering about who this girl was and what her relationship to their brother was (and what did any of this nonsensical conversation have to do with days of the week?).

“I’m technically fifty-six, so I’ll always be older,” Five points out.

“Bastard,” Wednesday insists.

“Cara mia,” Five jokes.

As soon as those words leave his lips, Wednesday pulls him into a tight hug and he returns it, wrapping his arms around her without hesitation. He can hear his siblings being annoying (someone, he’s betting on Klaus, audibly gasps and another, he’s not sure who, whisper-_screams_), but he had been feeling the loss of the Addams family with every beat of his heart for the last ten days.

“Missed you,” he mumbles.

“Good,” she says softly in return. She pulls him a little closer.

“I wore it every day.” He thinks of Wednesday’s picture and the lock of her hair hanging around his neck, hidden underneath the collar of his shirt. The locket rests against the skin above his heart and has been since she had given it to him ten days/two years prior.

“I know.” She squeezes him.

“Not to break up this heartwarming reunion, but could you please introduce us to your – uh – friend?”

Five breaks away from the hug to turn and roll his eyes at Luther, who seems flustered by the entire ordeal. Probably because he, and his other siblings, made a lot of assumptions about Five’s love life (or the lack of one). He’s suddenly taken aback though, because he realizes he can see his siblings: all of them.

“Ben?”

Ben looks equally surprised when Five calls his name, while the rest of the Hargreeves are scanning the room for signs of their dearly departed brother again. He looks more solid than he did when Klaus had manifested him in the theater, completely opaque, and he’s no longer the bluish hue that indicates he’s a ghost.

“You can see me too?” Ben asks, giving Wednesday a pointed look.

“I did say I’d see you again,” Five says, taking things in stride. Ben scrunches his nose and sticks out his tongue. Five has had weirder experiences in the Addams’ mansion and it’s not like he didn’t think Ben wasn’t there to begin with anyway; it’s just easier for him now that he can directly interact with his brother without asking Klaus to play mediator.

“Okay, this is officially too weird and I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all,” Diego interrupts. His eyes jerk around the room, as if he’s afraid someone or something will jump out and attempt to murder him, which is not actually so far-fetched when Five gives it some thought.

“Well, get used to it,” Five replies. He grins at his siblings and nods his head in Wednesday’s direction. “This is Wednesday. Wednesday Addams. We met before I came back the day of Reginald’s funeral.”

“More accurately, Five lived with us for a year before he recovered enough to return to his original timeline,” Wednesday states matter-of-factly.

“Hold up,” Luther says. “Original timeline? What year is it right now?”

At the same time, Allison furrows her brow. “You never mentioned Wednesday when you told us about the apocalypse.”

“Who’s us?” Ben calls out.

Wednesday turns to give Five a chilling stare. “You knew about the apocalypse and you didn’t tell me? _Bastard_.” She lifts her crossbow as if to shoot him, but the threat is as empty as the crossbow.

He rolls his eyes before responding to everyone in turn. “It’s roughly 1976, I didn’t think it was pertinent to tell you about my time here because _the world was going to end_, ‘us’ refers to the Addams family, and I didn’t explicitly say it was the apocalypse, but what exactly did you think happened when I spent those 42 years in a desolate wasteland?”

Wednesday scowls (her version of scowling involves no discernable change of expression but a complete overhaul of her aura, so that her irritation is almost palpable. Five wants to laugh, because he knows she’s embarrassed.).

“I just thought that’s what the future was like and you were a hermit,” she says dismissively. She changes the subject. “Come introduce your siblings to the family.”

Five eagerly follows Wednesday, who is already walking down the hall. He motions to his siblings behind him, urging them to hurry up. They stay standing and sitting in the foyer with blank looks on their faces and Five sighs, as if he were a parent dealing with reluctant children (he may as well have been).

“Don’t worry, only Pugsley bites, and that’s only if he likes you.”

It’s supposed to be comforting, they guess, but all of Five’s siblings metaphorically scratch their heads, because it clears up absolutely nothing and aggravates the few fears that had already been creeping into their heads (“What kind of animal is a Pugsley!?” Diego whisper-yells at Allison; he must have been the whisper-screamer from earlier), but Ben shrugs and starts walking towards Five (he has nothing to fear since he’s already dead, right?), which leads to Klaus doing the same after receiving an encouraging nod from Five.

Upon seeing Klaus and Ben moving, Wednesday and Five continue down the hall while having a subdued conversation about the no-longer-occurring apocalypse. Allison pulls Vanya to her feet and they hold on to each other for physical and emotional support as they follow after Klaus. Diego takes one look at the emptying foyer and Luther standing defiantly next to him before deciding he’d rather take his chances with Five and his creepy girl-friend than sticking around to hear Luther ranting (most likely about the moon and being Number One _again_). He speed-walks after the disappearing group, leaving Luther to debate staying by himself or reluctantly chasing the crowd (rather than leading it, as he would like to be).

Luther is frustrated. He has no idea where they are and barely an idea of _when_ they are, and his family is possibly at risk in this decrepit house. If Wednesday is any indicator of what awaits the Umbrella Academy here, Luther wants to put his foot down on remaining in her company and leave as soon as possible, no matter what Five says. Clearly, Five has a couple screws loose (or maybe lost them entirely) after his stint in the post-apocalypse, had brought them here because he was out of his mind, and his judgment could no longer be trusted. Although, Luther admits, Five has proven himself to be quite capable, despite looking and occasionally acting young, and he always had been the smartest in the Umbrella Academy, even back when he had actually been thirteen (which Luther was loathe to admit).

He shakes his head, as if to clear the argument from his head like an Etch-A-Sketch. He’s Number One, right? So, _he _is responsible for his family, _he _is the one who needs to protect them, and _he_ should be capable of taking charge, whether Five seems like he’s able to or not. If that meant putting his foot down to hanging around this gothic nightmare, so be it. Hiding his insecurity beneath his straightened shoulders and his furrowed brow, Luther follows _after_ his siblings (for once in his life).

* * * * *

Five won’t bother lying that he knew how his siblings would react to the Addams family, but he knew their reactions would be incredibly funny for him, who had already gone through the whole (at the time) freaky ordeal over a year ago.

Wednesday had invited his siblings to sit in the living room, on ornate, comfortable sofas standing casually on top of a priceless Persian rug. (He saw Allison’s eyes widen at that and couldn’t help the grin on his face from growing). She left quickly afterwards, saying she’d gather the rest of the family.

(“Don’t touch anything,” she says flatly. “Anyone who does is losing a hand.”

“She can’t mean that, can she?” Diego scoffs.

“See for yourself,” Wednesday responds as she tosses a completely limp Thing at him, a wicked glint in her eye as he shrieks upon identifying the object. Five bends over, laughing so hard he can feel the ache in his stomach as the shrieks grow louder; Diego discovers Thing is not just a disembodied hand, but a living disembodied hand.)

He is rather surprised that Diego and Luther had bothered to come at all, half-expecting them to linger in the foyer and bitch about the situation and other (in his eyes) minor details. But Numbers One and Two stand stiffly with their backs to the walls, Diego making note of quick escape routes from his position in the corner (all the more paranoid after Wednesday and Thing’s little prank) and Luther scowling and muttering under his breath how of course, psychopaths find love in one another.

The rest of his siblings, who were much more agreeable now that the initial shock had faded away and Wednesday had kindly stowed away her weapon, had settled on the couches with only the slightest apprehension. Five leans against a rare empty space along the wall, taking in the parts of his home he had thought of longingly during the few moments of calm that had occurred in the days prior to the almost apocalypse. _Funny_, he thinks, _how much you can miss something that you just saw days ago_.

(He never thought that would happen for him. He had missed his family while he had been stranded in the future, of course he had. But he hadn’t missed the Hargreeves mansion, and he never found a place to call home while surviving in that wasteland.)

“Five,” Diego hisses from across the room.

“What,” Five says, uninterested.

“What the fuck is wrong with your girlfriend!”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Five responds, blatantly ignoring the bigger issue.

“Uh, Five?” Vanya speaks up, uncertain, in stark contrast with the cold color of her eyes.

“Yes?” Five says.

“Can – can we trust her?” She chews on her lower lip.

“Can you trust me?”

He directs it at Vanya, but he looks the six of them in the eye, one by one, to gauge their response.

There’s a lot of anxiousness and even more insecurity in the way his siblings look back at him (and in the way they hold themselves and in the way they speak and in the literal thousands of other ways any amateur therapist could discern their traumatic childhood, but he digresses). However, Five’s rather pleased to see a hint of steel return to Vanya’s eyes and almost lets out an exasperated laugh at the way Ben’s eyes crinkle mischievously as he rolls his eyes. (Clearly, death had turned Ben into an outspoken bastard and Five briefly mourns the opportunities his brother lost with his life). He receives a wide-eyed stare from Klaus, but it soon bleeds into something almost warm and there’s an unspoken amount of trust in it.

He’s a lot less certain of how to interpret the looks he’s getting from Luther, Diego, and Allison. It’s not surprising, since he hasn’t gone out of his way to understand any of them, beyond basic necessity. If Five’s being honest, he’s not really sure _he_ trusts Luther and maybe Diego, after everything that had happened preceding the averted apocalypse. Luther is glaring at him indignantly, most likely for calling the shots when he’s Five, not One (and gods above and below, does Five need to have a talk with Luther about his insecurity and complexes).

Diego’s mouth is turned down into a grimace, but his eyes are still darting about the room, giving him away. _He’s afraid_, Five thinks. _Maybe for the first time in his life_. He can understand that: this may not be Five’s first time time-traveling, but it definitely is for his siblings.

He looks to Allison, whose brow is crinkled with worry as she fidgets. He’s reminded of Allison before she was the Rumor, before she was famous. _She’s uncertain._

“Just give them a chance. Please. For me,” Five says. He’s never asked anything of them before; he used to be bratty and isolate himself, thought himself to be above trust and support until he found out how fulfilling it could be.

_If anything is going to change, it’s going to have to start with me_, he thinks, almost grimly. _A leap into faith._

His siblings are clearly stunned by his request, mostly because he’s never made a request before (only demands) so they didn’t know it was possible, but Luther, Diego, and Allison slowly nod, still alert, still skeptical, but at least they’re agreeing to it now.

He smiles and dips his head slightly. “Thanks. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Again, his siblings look uncomfortable, probably because anything verging on the “touchy-feely”, heart-to-heart kind of thing makes them look like they’re constipated, but Klaus eases the tension: “What’s family for other than beating the shit out of each other physically and emotionally while also doing something nice every once in a while?”

Ben smacks Klaus upside the head while rolling his eyes, but Five’s mouth twitches in agreement.

* * * * *

The Umbrella Academy has been sitting in the living room for a stilted fifteen minutes of silence punctuated by the occasional cough and sniff before the sound of footsteps alerts them to the imminent arrival of the Addams family. They stiffen, all except for Ben, who’s a ghost and hasn’t feared for his life since the moment he died, and Five, who’s anticipation is palpable.

It’s Morticia who sweeps in first, pausing to carefully regard each face in the room before settling on Five’s. She holds out one perfectly manicured hand as he comes forward to greet her and places it against the side of his face.

“It’s been too long, dear. How was the future?”

“It was almost-but-not-quite world-ending. I brought guests, I hope that’s alright with you?”

“But, of course. Am I correct in calling them your siblings?”

She turns towards the Umbrella Academy, who are now all on their feet.

Five nods. “I’ll introduce them after everyone’s here.”

Behind her, the rest of the Addams family begins to trickle in. Wednesday is back, and behind her comes Gomez, charismatic as ever, with Fester shuffling in at his side. Lurch towers over the entire family, putting even Luther to shame, and Grandmama Addams cackles wickedly next to Wednesday. Pugsley is the last to come in; he immediately runs over to give Five a hug and ends up tackling him to the ground, to the alarm of his incredibly jumpy siblings.

“It’s good to see you too, Pugsley,” he laughs.

Morticia introduces the other members of the family; each person gives some sort of indication as to who they are when Morticia says their names.

“That’s Thing,” she says at the very end, giving a pointed look to Thing as they skitter across the ground and climb up to her shoulder. Diego involuntarily shivers at the sight and Wednesday smirks.

Now Five names his siblings in turn as the Addams’s greet them with polite nods; Wednesday’s eyes are bright as she hears each name.

“The giant is Luther, the one in black is Diego, that’s Allison, next to her is Klaus, Ben’s behind him, and last, but not least, is Vanya.”

Luther (because he’s still sulking), Diego (because he’s afraid, very afraid), and Ben (because he’s a ghost) make no effort to draw attention to themselves when they were called, but Allison gives an attempt at a friendly smile, Klaus (as always) holds up his “hello” hand, and Vanya smiles shyly (uncomfortably).

“Lovely to meet you all. Welcome to our home,” Morticia says. She doesn’t say anything about the significant age gap between Five and the others, which they had been anticipating. (Vanya breathes a sigh of relief when no one mentions her unnaturally silver eyes.)

The Addams family settles around the room, taking any seat or surface available to them. Lurch and Grandmama leave to get some tea and cakes “for present company” and return with Five’s favorite Earl Grey and several pitch-black cookies that Five’s siblings eye warily, but Five bites into with gusto (he really has missed Grandmama’s food).

Gomez immediately begins regaling the Hargreeves (mostly just Five) with some of the most exciting events of the last two years as Grandmama offers each of the Hargreeves siblings a cup of tea with a dash of cyanide (which they alternatively scoff/chuckle awkwardly at until Five interrupts with “they don’t have any tolerance” and Grandmama snatches the cups from their hands before any of them can sip from them; Five shrugs indifferently at their horrified expressions).

“Oh, you should have been there, old man! You would have _loathed_ her! Lucky for you, we already buried her.”

Gomez is describing Fester’s deceased wife, Debbie, with such enthusiasm that the Hargreeves exchange confused glances and Diego mutters something unintelligible but guaranteed to be rude.

Five rolls his eyes. “How many new additions to the graveyard is that in less than two years and how haven’t the police noticed?”

Klaus makes a soft noise of surprise.

“You know they don’t bother with deaths within the family anymore, Five,” Morticia chides.

“They stopped coming after we filled the mausoleum,” Wednesday informs the Hargreeves.

“There’s, I didn’t, wait, I didn’t know there’s, that there’s a mausoleum here,” Klaus stammers. It’s the first interruption from any of the other Hargreeves’, so the Addams’ are particularly attentive to his comment.

“The entire Addams clan is buried on our land,” Pugsley tells him proudly.

There’s a tremor in Klaus’ left hand and it’s as if someone has poured a bucket of cold water over him. He starts to shiver, but wraps his arms around himself in a not-so-subtle attempt to restrain the involuntary motion. He tucks his legs up onto the couch so that he’s curled into a ball. Ben’s at his side, repeating something in a low voice, and Five moves to sit next to him. The other Hargreeves stay where they are, looking uncomfortably on as their brother begins to unravel. Vanya and Allison look torn between the thought of reassuring Klaus and the idea that they may possibly make things worse by approaching him at all.

For a moment, no one moves.

And then, someone does.

To the surprise of the Hargreeves’ siblings (aside from Five), it’s Wednesday who reaches out and puts a small pale hand on top of Klaus’.

“You don’t have to be afraid here, you know.” She says it nonchalantly, but the comment startles him from his consuming panic.

“What do you mean?”

“The ghosts on the Addams property are really quite polite.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Diego interrupts.

Wednesday glares at him. “Klaus is not the only one with the Sight.”

The Umbrella Academy stare back at Wednesday now, while the rest of the Addams discuss the current state of the graveyard plots and how they’re in dreadful need of more wilting plants and weeds.

“The Sight?” Allison repeats in disbelief.

“It’s a gift common amongst members of the Addams family. I gathered from Five that ours is most likely weaker than yours, Klaus, but it is more than most people are permitted to see.”

“Is that why you can see me?” Ben asks, curious. He’s been holding Klaus’ hand ever since his attack started and he squeezes slightly as he says it.

“Yes. Mother can see you too.”

They all do a double-take then. “She can?” Ben asks.

“Of course,” Morticia responds, nodding to him. “I may not be an Addams by blood, but my own family has quite a history with the forces beyond.” She raises her eyebrow suggestively at Gomez, who begins furiously pressing kisses up her arm (like his life depended on it). Ben furrows his brow, partially because of the display of affection, partially because her not being an Addams by blood was not why Ben and Klaus had been confused.

“So… who else can see me?”

Fester shows his teeth in an attempt at a grin and gives a wave of his hand.

“And me now, apparently,” Five mentions. That development was certainly a welcome surprise.

There’s a lull in conversation where everyone watches Klaus gaze blankly at the floor. He’s not the nervous wreck he seemed like he was going to turn into just moments before, but he definitely has something on his mind. Most of the Umbrella Academy appear to be fighting the instinct to flee or to fight. They’ve never tried to deal with their feelings or acknowledge each other’s traumas before – that bastard Reginald had ensured that the only coping mechanism available to them was bottling everything up until they exploded and almost brought about the end of the world.

While the Hargreeves’ are struggling with their discomfort, the Addams’s are offering Klaus their odd sort of encouragement, that sounds like a threat but really comes from a place of affection. Ben now has an arm slung over Klaus’ shoulder and Five has such a fond gleam in his eye as he observes him. Klaus feels overwhelmed by this unexpected wave of support; he doesn’t know what to do with it.

“But doesn’t having the graveyard full of dead people bother you?” he asks quietly.

“Why would it?” Wednesday responds.

Pugsley starts to ramble. “You’re lucky, Klaus! I can’t see anyone no matter how hard I try and Wednesday says Great Uncle Lucifer had the most interesting life and is the best storyteller and that the spirits here are better than the living ones.”

_Lucky_. Klaus can barely believe it. He’s never felt lucky in his entire life. He’s lived through trauma and addiction and heartbreak and death and violence. He’s never been allowed to have anything _good_ in his life and the first time he actually thought he could, his one good thing, his beautiful and strong and sweet Dave, was ripped from his hands. There has been so much unspeakable pain that comes with being Number Four and seeing and feeling the dead, so many unbearable moments that made him want to die, and that one moment with God when he realized She didn’t want him around either. His life has been anything but lucky.

But right now, sitting amongst this family who is completely out of their minds and his own siblings who are starting to change ever so slightly, he feels warm for the first time. He’s always been cold; it’s a part of his powers, he thinks. No matter how hot it got during New York summers, Klaus couldn’t feel sunshine on his face or chase away the numbing chill that made goosebumps cover his arms. Yet Klaus looks at the way the Addams family love one another and love Five, in their own weird way, and thinks he can understand why Five dragged them all here, even if “here” looks like the set of a ransom video. He thinks about Wednesday’s own cold hand still lingering on top of his, and oh would you look at that his fingers aren’t trembling uncontrollably anymore, about how the Addams’s who can also see ghosts looked immensely pleased he’s here at all and Ben’s by his side and he can _feel _his brother pressed against him, and Five’s looking at him with no judgment, only support, and he can still hear Pugsley chatter animatedly about ghosts in the background.

When Pugsley told him he’s _lucky_ to be able to see ghosts, Klaus almost imagines he is. For a fleeting moment, the jealousy and awe that Pugsley can’t hide in regard to his cursed ability makes him think he really is fortunate to have it.

_It’s nice, feeling like I could be normal for once_.

He smiles a little; there’s no way this little exchange can fix _everything _that he thinks is wrong with him, but he thinks it might be a start. Maybe being stuck in this horror house won’t be so bad.

“Do not worry, Klaus Hargreeves,” Wednesday says, almost like she doesn’t want to murder him. “I will personally introduce you to some of the family.” She thinks for a while and then adds, “Except for Debbie – she’s a bitch.”

Klaus’s smile grows bigger.

“I’d like that.”

* * * * *

The rest of tea time passes by without incident.

Klaus is much more willing to interact with the Addams’s and he seems relaxed in his own skin, which Five realizes he’s never actually seen before when he notices it (and isn’t that disturbing).

Ben is having a good time too, probably because for the first time since he’s died, he can actually _talk_ to someone and interact with them, without Klaus acting as his living Ouija board. He’s having a quiet but energetic conversation with Fester, and from what Five can see, the pair of them are grinning in a way that makes him swear they’re _plotting_ something.

Gomez and Morticia have taken to politely questioning Luther and Diego about themselves and don’t even blink an eye at the terse and borderline-threatening responses they receive. (Five makes a mental note to thank them for their patience later). The couple fill in what would be awkward silences with their own stories and persistent questions.

Allison and Vanya are listening to Wednesday and Grandmama discuss their favorite lines from Shakespeare. When Wednesday recites a few lines from _Macbeth_, Five can’t help watching her with a warmth in his eyes that makes Pugsley pretend to gag and bewilders his sisters to no end.

“Oh my,” Morticia says, “Would you look at the time.”

The grandfather clock standing in the hall had started to chime, clanging ominously five times and the sound of the last strike reverberates.

Morticia stands up, as does Grandmama.

“It is almost time for supper. Children, if you could show our guests to their rooms?” She gestures towards the hallway and then with a smile, the matriarch of the family sweeps out towards the kitchen with her mother at her arm.

“Best wash up before supper, old man,” Gomez says, stretching his arms above his head as he, too, gets up. “Wouldn’t want to face her wrath…even if I do.” He looks completely enamored. Five pretends to choke and die in response, to which Gomez offers an amused smirk. He exits the sitting room with Fester in tow, Ben winking at Fester as he leaves.

It’s now just the Hargreeves and Wednesday and Pugsley.

“Your room is untouched,” Wednesday says.

“Thanks,” Five responds.

“You have a _room_ here?” Diego practically accuses.

Five snorts derisively. “I was here for _a year_, Diego, I had to sleep somewhere.”

Diego scowls and opens his mouth to respond but Luther cuts him off.

“Five, we _can’t_ stay here! We have to go back, we don’t _belong_ here.” Every word is pushed past clenched teeth.

“You all said you would give them a chance,” Five responds evenly. _Control yourself_, he thinks, _don’t lose your temper. Luther is your brother too._

“I gave them a chance – it was more than enough to learn that these people are _psychopaths_!”

“They’re not psychopaths! _Reginald_ was a psychopath; the Addams are _family_!” Five grits out.

“_Don’t talk about Dad like that_,” Luther snarls.

“He may be your father, but _he isn’t mine_ – “

“Um, guys?”

Five and Luther are a foot away from one another, glaring at one another angrily. Klaus has a hand on each of their shoulders in what should be a restraining manner, but it’s basically just for show and they all know it.

“This isn’t your decision to make, Luther. Yours either, Five,” Allison speaks up now. “If we’re going to try to be a family, we should make decisions as a family.”

“Agreed,” Ben calls out. When no one acknowledges his response, Five repeats what Ben said to the group tersely and Diego loudly announces he didn’t think Luther deserved to call the shots in the first place. Another almost-fight breaks out between the pair, but Vanya calms everyone down.

Wednesday and Pugsley had been watching the Umbrella Academy devolve into bickering like little children wordlessly.

In the silence following Vanya’s endeavor to placate everyone, Pugsley chimes in: “If you’re going to duel, the armory is on the second floor.”

Five sighs. “Thanks, Pugsley, but I think we’ll have to pass.”

“Whatever works! Just don’t leave any bloodstains on the carpet – Mother gets real upset.” He then shrugs, smiles, and leaves the room to wreak havoc elsewhere.

Wednesday turns to Five. “I’ll leave you alone to sort yourselves out. Your siblings can have the rest of the rooms on your floor; they’re unoccupied. Dinner is at six-thirty.”

She leaves.

And then there were seven.

Allison clears her throat. “So, I think we should have a vote, after everyone gets to say their piece.”

Diego grumbles under his breath: “Who died and made you Luther.”

Vanya bites back a smile and ducks her head so no one notices. Five does though, as do Klaus and Ben. In turn, Klaus stifles a laugh and instead claps his hands together excitedly, hopping up and down.

“I wanna start, I wanna start!” he cheers.

Luther rolls his eyes, but Vanya nods encouragingly and even Diego pays attention.

“Go for it, Klaus,” Allison says.

“Weeeelllll,” he drawls, fidgeting as he does so, “I kind of like them! Yeah, they’re complete weirdos, but who are _we_ to judge? Fuck, they’re a hell of a lot nicer than most people are!” He gives them a look, and then raises both his hands in an “I’m out” gesture before turning to Ben.

Ben starts to talk and Five, not Klaus, is the one to shush Allison when she starts to speak over him and relay his opinion to the rest of the siblings.

“I think we should stay. We can’t exactly go ‘home’, remember? So, where else can we go at this point? We’re a mess: all of us clearly have some hang ups from our absolutely fucked childhood, we drove Vanya to the edge of insanity, none of you even gave a shit about Klaus and _he literally died for you, Luther_, and most of you didn’t even believe I was here until someone other than Klaus confirmed it! Also, Five is vouching for them and I trust Five.”

Five repeats everything Ben says word for word, wanting to show somehow, some way, that he values his opinion and his presence.

Still, it’s Five’s anger that bleeds into Ben’s harsh-but-calm chastisement and Five’s bitter scowl that makes his siblings flinch. He files “literally died for you” away with “had a panic attack because of mausoleum” under “Need To Talk to Klaus” for later.

“Anything else?” Five asks. Ben shakes his head and grins. “Alright then, who’s next?”

“I’ll go.”

Luther jumps at the chance to lecture them: “This is a bad idea. We know nothing about these people, they could murder us in our sleep, they could sacrifice us to a demon or whatever shit they worship, they could, they could eat us, I don’t know, they just, just, they just put us at risk!”

His face slowly turns a deep crimson and one particularly large vein on his neck bulges as he works himself up.

“We need to go back, we need to do what Dad intended us to do. We _don’t_ belong here.” There’s a note of finality in Luther’s tone and his word choice and it absolutely rubs Five the wrong way, but he’s not about to derail the most functional family meeting they’ve ever had to argue about semantics.

“Next?” Five asks instead of picking a fight, glancing at Diego, Allison, and Vanya. The three of them exchange glances, and Diego shrugs and opens his mouth.

“I don’t think Luther gets to decide for us just because Dad made him Number One, but I’d rather stab myself than stay here, Five. This place is creepy and your friends are insane. We shouldn’t stay any longer than we have to.”

He crosses his arms, glowers at Five, and then jerks his head at Vanya. “You’re up.”

Vanya looks startled by Diego directly addressing her. She picks at her nails as she decides how to proceed.

“I think…,” she trails off, chewing her lip. Her eyes are downcast, watching her feet. The nervous behavior is familiar, but her pale eyes are that of a stranger’s. “I think we should stay. I don’t think Luther is wrong to be suspicious, but Five wouldn’t do anything that would put us in harm’s way.”

She turns to Allison. “What do you think?”

Allison furrows her brow and the corner of her lip twitches down.

“I can’t say I don’t agree with Luther,” she says slowly, eyes flicking to Five before looking away. “I do think staying here is potentially… dangerous…”

“But?” Five prods.

She purses her lips. “But I don’t see where else we can go at this point. I mean, can we even go back? You didn’t clarify how your powers work and based on some of your vague explanations from before our… _arrival_, I’m guessing we’re stuck here whether we like it or not.”

Five sucks in a deep breath. All of his siblings, aside from Vanya, are looking down at him (damn this height difference) and it’s his turn to speak.

“I won’t lie, time travel is complicated. I… I can’t guarantee I could take us back right now.”

Luther looks outraged and Diego raises an eyebrow.

“But!” Five says quickly, “I am fully capable of taking us back _eventually_. I’ve already done it once before. That being said, I did bring us here with a purpose.”

Five thinks about the events leading up to the almost-Apocalypse and even further back. He remembers how awful living under Reginald’s thumb was. He remembers painfully silent “family” dinners and bloodied preteen limbs and rude, snarky comments. He remembers the one “individual training” session with Reginald where he had been forced to jump spatially nonstop, until he felt like some of his limbs were torn away and left behind as he jumped.

He can’t even begin to imagine what kind of torture Reginald forced on his siblings during their “individual training”.

He cracks. A tiny crack in the dam holding back the flood of emotions, good and bad, that threaten everything he holds dear.

He clears his throat.

“Ben’s right. We were – we _are_ a mess. I know I didn’t do the best job explaining anything and I could have definitely tried harder to understand you guys before and even now, but I’m trying to be a brother. I’m trying and I’m not always doing the best job, but it’s hard after how we were raised and we’re definitely no traditional fucking nuclear family, you know? But one year with the Addams family was enough for me to think we should start acting like one. Like a real family.”

It’s so quiet, it’s stifling. It’s choking him.

Five thinks about his confession in the graveyard before he left the mansion ten days ago and wets his lips before starting again.

“I’m saying I have a lot of regrets. And I really don’t know you guys as well as I’d like to. And I know you guys are worried about staying here, but I don’t think there is anywhere safer we could be. If you give them some time, I think you’ll understand why I trust them so much.”

The Umbrella Academy look at one another with some trepidation, but mostly with resolve. Every single one of them.

“Please. We have to start somewhere.”

There’s a pause.

“It’s time to vote,” Allison says softly.

“Yeah,” Five agrees. He’s said everything he can afford to say at this time.

“All in favor?”

Allison raises her hand as she asks and Vanya, Klaus, and Ben raise theirs with no hesitation. A few seconds later, a grumpy Diego joins them.

And after him, Luther grudgingly does the same. Ben lets out a low whistle, while Klaus gasps dramatically. Vanya offers Luther a tentative smile.

Five looks at Luther like he’s never seen him before.

In the next second, he’s thrown himself on top of Luther similar to how Pugsley had done hours earlier. Luther falls over with a yelp, thinking for a fleeting moment that Five is attacking him, but realizes, stunned, that he’s on the receiving end of an unprecedented hug from his prickliest sibling. He’s at a loss for what to do.

The rest of the Hargreeves’ are similarly shocked, but then Ben and Klaus share mischievous grins before flopping on top of Five and Luther. Diego rolls his eyes, faking disgust, but Allison shoves him down before joining the dogpile with Vanya.

For the second time in the history of the Umbrella Academy and the second time in the same day (technically), the Hargreeves siblings share a group hug.


End file.
